Non verbal cues

As I sat in the dentist chair yesterday having a root canal, a good example of non-verbal communication occurred. Near the beginning of the procedure, I was feeling some pain as my dentist worked on the tooth. I didn't grunt or moan or hit him, I simply clenched my fist. He stopped immediately and asked if I was feeling anything to which I obviously responded "Gash" since I had a rubber dam in my mouth. He added more freezing and continued on with the three hour procedure and I had no more pain. Well, until the freezing came out but that's another story.

My point is that it doesn't matter what job you do - communication is absolutely vital. My dentist is one of the best and the fact that he picked up on that non-verbal cue so quickly is evidence that he is a very good communicator.

Just think of all the non-verbal communications we get in a day. Teenagers are famous for rolling their eyes to get across their disdain - but I've seen it happen in the office as well. Having a poker face would be a real blessing for some people - me included.

There is also the communication from a receptionist getting a flurry of complaints - she runs her hands through her hair repeatedly saying without words "I'm overwhelmed, somebody help me take all these calls." A good manager sees the non verbal cue and takes action.

I think the reason we rely on non verbal cues to get a message across is because many times we don't want to appear to be a whiner or to ask for help. We WANT help, we just don't want to have to ask for it.

Next time you see a coworker cover his or her face with both hands and expel a big breath, ask if they need a hand with something. They might say yes, they might say no, but at least they know someone was 'listening'.