The title will have to wait

I have a weird kind of writing style whereby I usually sit and come up with a title for what I'm going to write before I get into it. For this one, the title will have to wait until I've written down the content because this one is too personal - this is about communication with a loved one when they are dying.

I'm not an expert on this by any means - no more than anyone who has lost a loved one and can relate to the experience. Sometimes we hear people say that they wish they had told someone who has passed on what they meant to them, how much they loved them. I feel so blessed that I don't have that regret with my mom.

Mom passed away 15 years ago on July 25. I can't believe that she has been gone that long because in so many ways it seems like she was just here. That's probably because she is here all the time in my heart. One thing I definitely shared with my mom was good communication. I know that she knew how much I loved her and admired her. Simply because I told her. And she told me how much she loved me and what she was proud of about me.

Sometimes I'll forget about those conversations but all I have to do is transport myself back in my memories to a time when we were sitting in her living room on either end of the sofa, each reading a book and enjoying the quiet. Those were the times we had our best conversations, between chapters, we would lift our heads and talk. Just talk. About anything and everything - I never felt like a topic was taboo with my mom. She worried for me because I would get my feelings hurt so easily - maybe I've toughened up since then so she doesn't have to worry so much about me now, where she is.

Having regrets after someone dies that you never communicated with them well enough about your feelings is not a regret you have to have. There are so many ways to tell someone you love them even without words. A regular phone call to chat. A quick visit to help with some chores. A birthday or mother's/father's day card. But if you're really lucky, like me, you'll have memories of good, lengthy and sometimes very thought-provoking conversations with your mom or dad. Those are the memories that you can cherish even 15 years and longer after they are gone.