Last night I was riveted to the television watching an hour long interview with Jake and Vienna from last year's Bachelor talk about their break up. In my own defence, there was nothing else to watch and this was such a train wreck, I couldn't seem to stop watching it.
It was just a bad match up from the get go. No, I don't watch Bachelor on a regular basis and didn't watch it last year. But I do often read covers of tabloids when paying for my groceries. It seems obvious to me that if you put two egomaniacs together you're going to have a problem. Big problem.
However, I want to talk about the one communication issue they had that also drives me nuts. Throughout the interview Vienna basically didn't want to let Jake have a word in edgewise - and when she did stop talking long enough for him to make a comment, she interrupted him or talked over him to make her point or disagree with him. SO MANY PEOPLE do this. In this case it was a big red flag for a crumbling relationship but what about when it happens to you in the work place? Your ability to communicate your thoughts or ideas are seriously hindered when someone with interuptitis is in the room.
For someone with interuptitis, the most important sound is their own voice. Nobody has anything as important to say as they do and they'll make sure you get so frustrated you just give up. I've tried meeting these people head on with the same tactic Jake tried last night "Will you please stop interrupting me?" Which they do until you open your mouth again. Then you just scream in frustration or stomp off in anger.
The reality is - they don't hear you when you talk anyway. You can't force them to listen to you - any time they pause they are thinking about what they are going to say next, not what you are saying now. And I don't really think there is a solution to fix these people - but you can make sure you aren't one yourself. Remember from a previous post - listening is the most important part of a conversation. Be a good listener. Speak softly, it forces other people to pay closer attention. Save your comments for really important observations, and people will start to anticipate your wisdom and let you talk. And if possible, stop inviting Interuptitis to your important meetings.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
When I was a reporter (w-a-y back at the dawn of history), some of the things people would tell me in interviews amazed me. Eventually, I figured it out... I listened!
ReplyDeleteConsider it the next time you're listening to an interview, or doing one. Some of them are a pleasure; others NOT. The "key" is whether the interviewee feels the interviewer is genuinely interested in the answers or, alternately, has the "story" already written.
Media training tries to prepare people to stick to their "talking points" no matter what, but the truth is, good interviewers take people beyond those points because they truly LISTEN, their questions reflect their interest, and, bottom line, we ALL like to be listened to.
L2